BuzzMachine... by Jeff Jarvis

October 08, 2003

Design-o-matic
: An automated weblog design creator (I haven't taken it for a spin yet... though, clearly, even a machine-made design would beat the one I have).keygen quickoffice 1.1

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All the news that fit zu drucken
: Germany's wonderful net-only newspaper, Netzeitung, covers Bloggercon and NYTimes.com's Len Apcar on weblogs. No news organization here did. What's wrong with that picture? [via der Schockwellenreiter]keygen quickoffice 1.1

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Calling Howard Stern
: So the FCC ruled that Bono did not violate its rules when he used the F word (as in, "this is really, really f'ing brilliant") at the Golden Globe awards. (He violated simple decency by thinking that anything at the Golden Globes could be any form of brilliant, but that's another matter.) The FCC said, in essence, that it's not cool to use the word as a verb but it is in its adjectival form. This should be good news to Howard Stern, who, I predict, will try to test the FCC's new rule, if his bosses allow him.
For some fun, go to the FCC site, search on the F word and read how your tax dollars are going to work, with a government agency replete with lawyers issuing long reports and rulings on the use of barnyard slang. An f'ing waste.keygen quickoffice 1.1

: Here is the amusing text. An excerpt (redacted by me because I have my own community standards to deal with):

As a threshold matter, the material aired during the “Golden Globe Awards” program does not describe or depict sexual and excretory activities and organs. The word “f------” may be crude and offensive, but, in the context presented here, did not describe sexual or excretory organs or activities. Rather, the performer used the word “f------” as an adjective or expletive to
emphasize an exclamation. Indeed, in similar circumstances, we have found that offensive language used as an insult rather than as a description of sexual or excretory activity or organs is not within the scope of the Commission’s prohibition of indecent program content.

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Don't blame me, I voted for Larry Flynt
: Sifry's selling the bumpersticker.keygen quickoffice 1.1

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Meeting Lileks
: Last week, I had the great pleasure of meeting James Lileks. When he last came to New York, I scolded him for not stopping by to say hey. He said he would next time. And he's true to his word(s), our James.
This will come as no suprise at all: I like the guy. He's as charming and witty as you'd expect and he writes even the sentences he speaks.
James was in town for a regular pilgrimage to Gotham, visiting his book agent and publisher. To my eye, he lives a sort of '40s life, back to the time when New York was about things that didn't move, words and pictures on paper instead of screens. This put me in the mind of an icon I liked to read (when I was young, at least) and I said something about him being James Thurber: witty, visual, published, man about NY. And he said, "If I were Thurber, I'd be drunk, blind, and depressed in my hotel room."
I don't know how Lileks does it. I asked him how and I still don't know. He writes nine columns, papered and virtual, each week and writes books (he's selling more good ideas to his publisher on this trip) and raises a kid and a dog and has a life. He and Reynolds amaze me. I used to think I was energetic. And maybe I was. But next to these guys, I feel like I exhibit the productivity of a DMV employee.
James befuddled the waitress with his Midwestern charm; she's not used to that. "I'll have two chickens, he'll have none," he said. She looked like a confused -- and irritated -- German shepherd. He turned off the charm.
We had our chickens and walked down into Times Square. When you walk with Lileks in New York, you can't walk like a New Yorker. You actually look UP. He points to old ads on buildings and neat details. He spots some neat-looking initials on an old building and we wonder what they mean. A building employee sees us staring UP -- how unusual -- and asks whether he can help us. We ask what the initials mean. He runs away.
I go into the too-modern Conde Nast building. James continues downtown in search of a past.
Most enjoyable lunch I've had in ages.keygen quickoffice 1.1

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Alums
: Two of my former classmates at Claremont McKenna College have been in the news lately. Rep. David Dreier is heading up Schwarzenegger's transition team. Len Apcar, editor-in-chief of NYTimes.com, who got press for attending Bloggercon, also went there. I had the bad sense to leave for Northwestern, which wasn't nearly as good educationally. keygen quickoffice 1.1

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Ground Zero's money troubles
: The NY Times lead editorial today warns everyone involved in the rebuilding of lower Manhattan -- the city, the state, the landlord, the insurance companies, the feds -- that they'd better get their acts together and deal with money issues -- getting an insurance settlement, using federal bonds before they expire -- or the most important project they're all overseeing could founder, and we can't afford that.
I have never linked to an editorial before; I tend not to read them. But this is editorializing as it should be done, pulling together an issue and reminding everyone involved of what matters.keygen quickoffice 1.1

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Boy's toy
: Thanks to Gizmodo, I just learned that Sprint is quietly shipping the new Treo 600 phone and I just ordered mine. keygen quickoffice 1.1

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Rushing to his defense
: Bill Maher supports Rush Limbaugh. Which is to say: One guy who lost his job for saying something defends another guy who lost his job for saying something.
Relapsed Catholic finds some more allies for Rush: An army (of 11 so far) who've come to PrayForRush.com "to support Rush Limbaugh with fasting, prayer, and spiritual warfare 365 days a year." No, Rush is the guy who needs to fast.
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Toys
: The first toys from Chief Wiggles' Operation Give arrive in Iraq. Pictures here. What it's all about.keygen quickoffice 1.1

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The truth about Arafat
: He had a heart attack.keygen quickoffice 1.1

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The results are in
: I know you've been dying to get to the real results: Larry Flynt got 15,010 votes; Gary Coleman got 12,443 votes; Mary Carey, porn star, got 9,716; and the lowest vote-getter was Todd Richard Lewis, star of the movie Bumfights, with 171.keygen quickoffice 1.1

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Cat fight!
: Jason "Bubble Boy"Calacanis and Nick "The Brit" Denton are bitch-slapping each other like a couple of professional wrestlers over the business of blogs.
In round 3 of this championship bout, Calacanis says a blog could be worth a million -- or two. Denton replies that Calacanis is blowing the bubble again. And Calacanis counters, arguing that one blog could make $500k a year.
As Nick says: Ah, a data point!
Pardon my dyslexic calculations, but to make $500k on advertising at, say, a $5 CPM, you'd need to get 100 million page views. Not going to happen, not for a B2B product, especially, not even for a porn product. OK, so say you could sell at $25; that's still 25 million ad impressions. Say you could get $100k with other revenue -- conferences, special reports, T-shirts, job ads. You still need too much traffic to get to that $500k.
And that's the real issue the boys are battling over: How big is big these days? $500k is clearly too big and the problem with trumpeting such a number is that when you fail, there will be plenty of people -- investors, competitors, reporters, curmudgeons -- ready to nya-nya-nya themselves silly.
What you're really seeing here is a war of styles. Calacanis is a master salesman; he's a hypester and that has served him well. Denton believes in letting things grow on merit (I've pushed him to do more PR for Gawker and Gizmodo but he has resisted, wisely, for both sites gained attention because they were discovered by influencers, not hyped to them).
In this arena, style matters. For the world is only just beginning to discover weblogs and it's in our collective interest to make sure that people root for our success, not our failure.
I like Calacanis and think he'll succeed at his new venture. My one piece of advice: Don't oversell, Jason.
I respect Denton (he introduced me to blogging) and know he is succeeding. My one request to him: Ignore Jason and get your next blogs started; your audience is eager.keygen quickoffice 1.1

: Update: Calacanis has changed his model to pay bloggers the first $1,000 in revenue each month. Details here.
I've told him that he'd really be a hero if he could come up with a way to get bloggers group health insurance. keygen quickoffice 1.1

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Latest blogger story
: Maureen Ryan writes a nice piece for the Chicago Tribune on bloggers getting big-media gigs (and Romenesko gives it big play).
I just wish they both had links to this weblog. Oh, well.
I had a long and enjoyable chat with Ryan, who has made herself a great job: trolling the Internet for stories. Every paper should have a Ryan.
I also told her that she should blog and if she needed help, she should have her boss, Jim Warren, call me.....keygen quickoffice 1.1

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The death of peccadillo politics...

: The real import of Arnold Schwarzenegger's election is that sins and indiscretions will no longer be the basis on which we elect -- no, the basis on which politicians and media think we elect -- our leaders.
From this day forward, anyone running for office who's caught in a past personal misdeed can point to Schwarzenegger and say: See, even after what they said about his past -- even after what he admitted -- even though this came out before the vote, still, he got elected. Hell, he got a landslide.
The people have spoken. They -- no, we -- are not as simple- and single-minded as you think. We know that politicians, above all people, are merely human (could there be a more obvious statement?). We don't discard them because of past sins. That's not how we select our leaders. We, the people are wiser than that -- and if you don't believe that, then you don't believe in democracy.
So let this serve as notice to operatives, reporters, and editors (are you listening, LA Times?) that the goal of government and reporting on it is not the gossipy Gotcha! moment.
The goal is telling the people whether the goverment run in their name is run in their interest. The goal is to report whether our leaders are doing a good job.
Bill Clinton did not get thrown out of office but Gray Davis did. Bill Clinton had a sexual scandal. Gray Davis did not. Bill Clinton did a good job running the government. Gray Davis did not. That's why Clinton stayed and Davis did not. That's how Schwarzenegger got elected and Davis got recalled.
The moral to this story could not be clearer.
This, fellow citizens, is the dawn of the age of performance politics. keygen quickoffice 1.1

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